Friends

It's been two months since I started this whole raw vegan thing, and almost a year since I've posted to an ana forum... Such epic failure... I got a modeling gig in San Francisco after I come back from Hawaii so it's time to get serious. Discipline. Find it. Nothing cooked, NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS. Especially not cheese, sashimi, or bee products(wait, those are the only ones I eat ;D). I'm making this change! When this bag of raw granola is finished... prolly last til Monday, that's it. I'm fasting... forever. lol... Water, spirulina, and green tea! Nothing else. Cleansing until I get there.

Dear Lord, stats...

hw: 175 *vomit* mostly muscle though...
lw: 114
cw: 170
gw1: 150
ugw(ultimate goal weight): 110

anyone along for the ride?

<3 Mira

It has been so long since Ive posted anything.
Basically I have been busy with college but the stress from it has caused me to gain weight even though its so so easy to avoid food now more than ever but its me thats the problem. I end up binging if I have even a little bit of money, otherwise at home I dont eat much at all.
Anyway, I had 400 calories today from porridge and a banana and 400 calories today from vegetables and 40g of Doritos chilli heat. Im surprise I didnt eat the whole 125g bag so I am happy about that.
I will be here more though, especially since ALL my shows are having a stupid Xmas break, ugh.
x

I'm on day three of my fast. I lost 5 pounds the first two days, which was amazing even though I know it's probably only water weight. Still good though! Hope everyone is doing well too. So I'm at like 139, in four days I think I could be around 130. I haven't been that low in almost nine months. That was before I started gaining weight again. Sometimes I start getting hungry and I want to eat, but I need to just tell myself FOUR DAYS!! I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

Four days is nothing, right?

If anyone needs anyone to talk to, I'm here.

I've been away for awhile, but I'm back now. ^^ It's good to be back.
This semester has sucked so hard, I'm so ready to just quit life. I'll just sit in my room with the door closed, working on my computer and wait for myself to get thinner.Nothing else I do has worked.
I fell out of my routine and lost all my progress. I'm permanently at 139-141, and I hate it. If I hadn't given up back in July, I'd be at least close to 100 by now. I'm a failure.
I know what I want, I want to be thin. I know what I need. I need to get myself under control again. I need to get back into taking my pills, going on walks [despite the snow], doing my yoga and stretching and working out. When I did all that I was happy. I was getting strong, and I was getting thin. I don't know what to do. I hate my body, it won't do what I want it to. I know what I want and I want it so badly, I don't understand why I can't have just this one thing. I can deal with the iron deficiency and the protein deficiency and the headaches and the constant thirst and the restless sleep, all of it. I could handle all that if I could just have my body be thin. Is it that so much to ask for?
I know I've said all that before, but it's true. That's all I want. Why can't I have that???

**FINAL EDIT Thu Dec 10 02:15:47 UTC 2009**

So there is the final update... Over the past day we have processed around 11 million jobs out of the 12 million that were in queue at that time. Please bear in mind that over this past day, more jobs for notifications are also created. So while the queue has been dropping, we are still not fully caught up at this point, due to backlog and new jobs. We have roughly 3 million jobs still pending that involve the notification system in some manner. We had hoped we could have fully cleared the queue in a day, but unfortunately we can't clear it too quickly, since we need the rest of the site to operate normally. From our current perspective on the amount of jobs that are left in queue, and how many it has processed thus far, we believe it will take around another 8 - 12 hours to process everything.

And finally some answers to some questions:

( Read More and Get Some Answers... )

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Hello to all, it's been a while.

Horrible week. School is hard and I lost my best friend. I don't know why we don't talk anymore, we just don't. I try to call her about it, but she ignores me. I feel like a pathetic stupid idiot, I don't even know what I did. It sucks because she's been in my life since we were four. I don't know what to do without her.

It's funny because last week was good. Really nice and peaceful actually. My therapist said to try to see myself outside of the realm of food and I did for awhile. And I was actually happy for three or four days. Then I freaked out about what I was eating again.

I want to die.

I don't think I have a choice any more. Food is my life. It will always be my life.

I'm starting a two week fast tomorrow. Anyone in?? It'll be fun. ; )

**EDIT Thu Dec 3 23:24:15 UTC 2009 **

Hey Everyone, we are about to run the last alter job that we need to on our database servers. This will effect userpics / scrapbook / vgift images for the next few hours. Have no fear, your images aren't lost, there is just a really intensive process running on the servers which store the information for mogilefs. Thank you for your understanding and all the LJ love...

Hey LJers,

I just wanted to let you all know that we are going to be performing some mogilefs maintenance over the next few days. We will be upgrading our current version to latest stable as well as changing some db config information to better handle the amount of files we are currently hosting. This shouldn't cause a big impact on site stability, but you may see some minor delays with userpic / scrapbook images appearing or other requests associated with our mogilefs. We would love to not have that happen, but unfortunately with some of the steps we need to take we have to cause a delay with images. I figured this was a better solution than taking down all of LiveJournal because well lets face it, we all need our daily LJ fix ;)

Thanks,

So how does someone avoid being force-fed too much food, a mass of ridiculing people, and 2-3 doctor appointments? By not flying home, that's fucking how. I just wish I could have seen some friends back home, it's so rare to. And of course with my roommates gone it was incredibly lonely here.. but who cares. I'm staying fairly steady around 115 lbs, think I need to work out though, stomach could be tighter. I'm just happy I dodged that Thanksgiving bullet. As a side note, Orlando sucks.

backpacking
Want to embrace your wanderlust on the cheap? If you're high on adventurous spirit, but low on funds, this community can help you plan a trip to anywhere. Offering plentiful tips on how to travel light, you can post about inexpensive hotels and youth hostels if you're into urban exploration or discuss camping gear and mosquito netting for the great outdoors. Hitch your backpack, pitch your tent, and carpe diem!

bookfails
Planning to do your part to help boost the declining publishing industry this holiday? Better check here first. Sure, there are plenty of folks who post glowing reviews of their favorite books. But what about the epic fails? Compose and/or discuss snarky, incisive critiques on the books you despise most.

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Ever stumble across a frayed photo in your grandmother's attic? How about a faded picture tucked in the sleeve of an old novel at a used book sale? This is the place to post them. An amazing, eclectic collection of photographs sure to delight anyone with a penchant for history or nostalgic memorabilia.

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Having trouble conveying the concept of accountability to your cat? Now you can share letters to your significant felines and give public witness to your declarations of love and domestic negotiations. Whether you want to publish an apology for falling short on your cat-nip obligations or you need to raise a delicate hygiene issue.

I did it!! idk how, but I managed to avoid Thanksgiving dinner!!!!! Thank god for that!! Im still on my fast and have no intention of breaking down anytime soon. Also my bf decided to drop it and respect my choices whether he agrees with them or not but he is volunteering to deploy so that may not be as good a sign as I hope it is. Thanks for all the support.

Hello All,

I have just joined this community, and I am just looking for some motivation/ support. I used to be so good, but recently I have lost some self control, and thus gained some weight - I have never been diagnosed with an ED, but I know if anyone knew my thoughts and feelings regarding food and weight I would be. I really want to get back in control, and I want to use this community as a tool. Here are my stats

Ht. 5'6"
CW - 123.0 lbs.
HW - 125.0 lbs.
LW - 98 lbs. (wow, i can't even believe that I was down to this at one time)

its been a week and ive only lost 1 lb :P i guess i need to eat a little more to kick in the weight loss again, sounds odd but it worked before, i ate way too much but i lost weight again then i went back to not eating and kept loosing weight

maybe my thanksgiving meal will kick in

i got some new clothes and i droped a size :DDD and my mom kept telling me how ive never looked this thin before :]]] that made me super happy to hear

everythings going awesome with my first boyfriend :] we held hands last night and his hands are SO cold! but it was nice :]
i cant wait to see him again tonight :]

Hey I'm Adriane and I've just joined this community. Does anyone wanna be buddies on MSN or anything?
Age: 21
Height: 5'9"
CW: 126 lbs :(

xx

Height: 5'7" (Apparently, I've grown an inch gradually over the past five years)
CW: 109

F yeah.